There comes that moment
When I realize
It’s over.
I’ve tried to tell myself
He still cares,
Still loves me,
That he just needs a break,
Some time away
For everything to be normal again.
I know he must feel the same
Somewhere in his heart,
He made the same vows
After all
We all have moments
When we want to run away
Yet Reality fills each room,
Follows me around the half-empty house,
Whispers my faults,
Reminds me of my undesirability,
Echoes the last fight,
Replays his hurtful words,
Over and over
I second-guess
What I might have said or done
Differently
Nothing
Left of the marriage or my heart
I keep busy to ignore Reality
And seek familiarity
In the dish I wash,
The floor I mop,
The dust I wipe,
Over and over
But it’s still there.
Unwanted, yet, still companion
Reality hampers my routines,
Pries into my thoughts, and
Sits with me
By day
By night,
Lying in bed
Her exhalation chills my nape
Prevents sleep
She smirks at dark-circled eyes and
Newfound wrinkles.
Increasingly aware of Reality
I resign myself to her company
Refusing to go away
She replaces what was.
Gradually, I accept Reality
For all her blunt truths
And deceptive lies
That keep me indeterminate,
Questioning
Whether any of these past few decades
Was Reality.