My brother Aaron wrote a family letter day-before-yesterday, chronicling the goings-on of his week. It was informal, cheery and full of the stuff that makes up his life. In closing, he mentioned an article he had read in this month’s Ensign magazine; a Devotional Address entitled “Things As They Really Are” by Elder David A. Bednar. My brother’s final two sentences were: “We are living in a virtual world and people are losing their grip on reality. Stay grounded.”
Those two sentences left me thinking about reality and staying grounded longer than I had planned. His letter brought to mind a discussion my husband and I had regarding Facebook a few weeks ago. The conversation centered on being able to keep in touch with people who, without the internet, would be WAY off the radar screen.
We recently had an internet safety class in our ward (it was sparsely attended) that pointed out the dangers of establishing cyber-relationships with members of the opposite sex. Some in-class comments by a woman I admire and respect left me thinking about my own online and Facebook relationships.Things I know: I am a strong woman. I like to think that I am in control of my world. I do not spend an inordinate amount of time online. My kids are watching me. Things I don’t think about: I’m generally happy and probably fairly naïve when it comes to cyber-danger.
My husband told me about a morning radio program he had listened to on his drive to work, where the DJs cited some new statistics about divorce—and that the new most common cause of divorce is online relationships. I think to myself, if I have no desire to enter a real room and hang out casually to chat with Fred Smith, why would we hang out virtually? Elder Bednar warned “We live at a time when technology can be used to replicate reality, to augment reality, and to create virtual reality.”
He goes on to say “I raise an apostolic voice of warning about the potentially stifling, suffocating, suppressing, and constraining impact of some kinds of cyberspace interactions and experiences upon our souls. The concerns I raise are not new; they apply equally to other types of media, such as television, movies, and music. But in a cyber world, these challenges are more pervasive and intense.”
Before Aaron wrote his letter, I made the decision to un-friend all male friends on Facebook who were not relatives. Don’t virtually flog me—I’m not telling anyone what to do. I love the connections I have made online. There are fantastic people with so much to offer spiritually, intellectually and with valuable insight I would find in no other arena. By taking this step, I’m admitting to myself that there is potential danger lurking in cyberspace. I’m also admitting that I am not immune to situation, circumstance and temptation. I am a blogger, I have a facebook profile and I love to visit numerous sites (of which Segullah ranks near the top) online.
With caution and with the Spirit, I know I will be able to safely navigate through the amazing world that is the internet and remain the same strong, in-control woman I know myself to be.
What are your thoughts on cyber relationships? How do you maintain real and virtual fidelity? How does your online routine affect those around you?